Baffled
by The Fogglers
Summary: Life isn't fair. You think it's going to be one way, but then it tips in the other direction and everything's upside down. Mikan thought she was only going to Alice Academy to improve her grades, not to be dragged into a world where 'Alices' exists. Whats wrong, Mikan? You look completely baffled.


1

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Life isn't fair. You think it's going to be one way, but then it tips in the other direction and everything's upside down.

That's not what Hanako thinks. She says everyone has choices. Life chucks a bunch of shit at us, shit we can't control, but we can decide how to handle it. What bullshit.

How do you make choices when everything has turned to dust I'm your hands? It's impossible.

My life had gone down the drain ever since I was born. My dad was dead before I was even alive; my real mom left me outside a door and ran away... They must have sensed I had bad luck written all over me. Hanako took me in, and raised me like a real mother. When I was young, she told me that I deserved to know she wasn't my mom. I wonder if she thought that was a nice thing to do. I hated it. It made me feel so bad about myself, at 10 years old. She still has the letter that my mom wrote and tucked in my spotty blanket I was wrapped in, newly born. It's short, and pretty much just says that she's too young too look after me, since my dad died too, and that she trusts Hanako to look after me. She didn't sign it or anything, but I think Han has an idea of who it is. She never tells me, though. She probably thinks that's the best for me, which is stupid.

That's not why I'm upset though.

School was alright for me. When I was 12 I met my best friend, but she moved away a year later, so yay for that. I got along with everyone due to my happy, fun personality, and I made good friends I still have. But there were two problems I encountered.

Maths and Science.

I completely and utterly sucked at maths and science. No matter how hard teachers tried, I never got better. I had years of tutors who had given up as I was too thick, and many attempts at revising and trying to get better, before giving up myself. It's not like I'm bad at school; I'm pretty decent at French and German, and I get high grades in Art and History - but I have to suck at the two most important subjects in school.

That's why action was taken, and I was given the offer to be put into Alice Academy - a boarding school for elite geniuses.

Makes no sense, right?

Apparently they're offering very good tutors who can help me improve and can do it for free too. I'm pretty sure that's why Hanako jumped at the offer, but she says it's because she 'cares'... Yeah right.

Moving means I leave my friends, my small little village, everything. I've lived in Nagoya for 16 long years, and now I have to say goodbye? Not to mention Alice Academy is for geniuses and I'm one of the dumbest people on the planet. I will die there.

It's Thursday night. Five days have gone by, and we've had all the talks, the rows, the tantrums. We've been round in circles till there's nowhere left to go.

'This is the best for you,' Han says gently, helping me pack my suitcase. Just looking at it gives me an ache in the pit of my stomach. 'Miki-Chan, please,' she says. 'We have to be positive about this.'

'I am,' I inhaled, facing her. 'Positive I'll never forgive you.' She sighs, folding up a pair of ripped jeans and a blue and yellow stripy shirt. 'This will help you loads. Stop acting as if the whole worlds against you.'

'Not the whole world, just _you_ ,' I snap, pulling a black pleated skirt out of her hands and stuffing it in the case.

'It's best for you,' she repeats, and I can't help but scowl. I know she's right. It is best for me, but I don't care. She's probably only doing this to get me out of her hair. 'You're packing me off to the middle of nowhere.' I huffed, shoving a few necklaces in there. 'It's Tokyo, Mikan. Not Outer Mongolia. Only a seven hour train journey from here.' she rolled her eyes.

'Please don't, Han. I love it here. It's my home.' I beg. She pulls open a draw, folding high waisted shorts and a few black vest tops into the case. 'You've already been enrolled. They have you're room sorted, and your time-table. My heart sinks, as I lift a neatly folded jumper and hug the soft black mohair against my skin.

'C'mon, Mikan,' she says, putting an arm around my shoulders. 'We'll write, email, call, can't we? Look - I bought you a present.

I sighed. Han was good with presents. She earned a fair bit of money, so presents aren't a problem. In spite of myself, I take the parcel and tear off the pink wrapping paper. It's a new mobile phone, a new model with a load of storage and unlimited calls and messages. A week ago, I would've squealed and laughed and told her I loved it, but today I feel empty. I can't even find the words to say thanks.

A mobile phone so she can stay in touch as she packs me off to the big city. 'Give it a try, Mikan. The school. It will do you good.' She says. 'This is such a bad idea, I whisper, sinking down into the bed beside the suitcase. 'Don't make me do it,'

Hanako joins me, a smile on her face. She looks at me with a gentle gaze, her rumpled honey-blonde hair and cool blue eyes.

'Choices, Mikan,' she says so quietly, it's almost a whisper. 'I'll miss you like mad, but I think it's for the best. It's a fresh start. Don't waste it. Don't throw it away. Ok?' She puts her arms around me, and hugs me tight. I can't forgive her, no matter how hard I try. All the good memories in Nagoya flash through my mind, and I feel tears prick my eyes. I take a deep breath in, my voice all raggedy and sad. 'I hate you.' Han holds me tighter, rocking me, stroking my long brown curls. 'I know, sweetheart,' she whispers. 'I know.'

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A/N: New story! I actually haven't written a story in ages, and i should be revising for my exams but i can't be bothered, so instead i decided to upload something on ffn and hopefully i wont ditch this story


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